Hat Trick

I do cakes for love, not money.

I truly, truly respect anyone who does this stuff for a living. I usually take on a project for a friend or family member, get all excited about it, spend countless hours plotting out the details in my head, then inevitably, the cake cracks, the piping bag bursts, the "goldenrod yellow" food coloring is more of a "traffic cone orange," I can't find my leaf tip ANYWHERE and the fondant cracks every time I look at it. In short, I am always up at 3am the day the cake is "due" doing absurd things with duct tape and Ziploc bags.
Which is why this cake was such a wonderful, refreshing surprise. It went...fine.

The hardest part was deciding on the color (lemon yellow is a much closer approximation of its packaging). This is a cake that I think anyone could reproduce with the right tools, a little patience, and a handful of YouTube videos.

Materials

You can pick up all of the equipment listed here at Michael's or your local craft store. I've linked out to Amazon just so you can see what everything looks like.

• Cake turntable or Lazy Susan put on top of a box or a big cake pan or something.
• Icing comb
• Ziploc freezer bags, any size larger than the snack version*
• Cake pans: ideally, two 8-inch round pans, 1 12-inch round pan, and an oven-safe bowl with a diameter of 8 inches at the rim.** 
• Cake plate or 12 to 14 inch round cake board
• 1 8-inch round cake board
• 1 6 inch round cake board
• Icing tip 104
• Piping bags
• Food coloring (your choice-I used leaf green, lemon yellow, and sky blue)
• 2 large batches of buttercream frosting (you can make whatever you like, you'll just need a LOT of it. Like, 4 pounds. I used the same recipe as my Cupcakeasaurus, just double it)

Method

• Bake your cakes in the pans or sizes indicated. You can use any recipes you like; for this cake, I used an entire recipe Kentucky bourbon butter cake for the 12-inch layer (the "brim" of the hat) and a 2 chocolate box mixes (gasp!***) for the 8-inch layers (which, when stacked, make up the "crown").
• Now it gets fun! Put your 12-inch cake on the cake plate. If the top is "domed," level it off with a bread or cake knife or even some dental floss! (If you have NO IDEA what I am talking about, watch the video.)

• Give it a nice crumb coat (that's just a thin layer of frosting over the whole thing-don't worry about the cake showing through, you're going to add so many ruffles to this thing!)
• Tint 1 whole batch of buttercream frosting the "base" color (lemon yellow, in this case)
• Fit a large piping or freezer bag with the 104 icing tip and fill 'er up with yellow frosting. (For more than you ever wanted to know about piping bags, watch the video.)

• Starting at the bottom of the layer and working in concentric circles, make ruffles using the method in this video until there's roughly an 8-inch circle of unadorned cake on top.

• Stick the whole thing in the fridge.
• Stack, fill, and crumb coat your 2 8-inch layers on the 8-inch cake board using untinted frosting and/or filling of your choice.**** 
• Put the cake on the turntable, if you haven't already.
• Place a 6-inch cake board on top of the 8-inch layers.
• Place the bowl-shaped cake flat-side down on the cake board.
• Do a crumb coat.
• Using the yellow icing, generously frost the assembled "crown" of the cake. It's doesn't have to be perfect, but it should be thick.
• Holding the icing comb perpendicular to the cake, "drag" the teeth through the frosting, while slowly turning the turntable. You'll need to wipe off the comb fairly regularly, and it might take a few tries to get the hang of it, but eventually, it should look like a nice striped texture.
• Put this cake in the fridge.
• While both cakes are chilling, grab your untinted icing and divide it into 3 parts. Tint one part green (for the leaves), one part whatever color you want the ribbon to be (I did sky blue), and either leave one part the untinted color (for the flowers) or color it however you like.
• Take the cakes out of the fridge and gently put the "crown" of the cake on top of the "brim." Bad things can happen during this process. Just go slow, and remember that you can always fix whatever you mess up.It's only frosting.
• Using whatever is left in your yellow piping bag, add a row or two of ruffles around the base of the crown part of the cake, just to make the "hat" look seamless.
• Using an icing tip or just a Ziploc bag with the corner clipped off, create a "band" around the base crown of the cake (mine is sky blue, and was done with a large petal tip, because that's what I had).
• Watch this video, and then create your choice of flowers.

• Watch this video, and add the leaves.

• Add any additional ribbon "streamers."
• Pour yourself a glass of wine - you've earned it! AND YOU'RE DONE!

* I say this as a brand name because in this case, it matters. You don't have to get the fancy zipper-topped ones and definitely DO NOT get the pleated bottom ones. The good old-fashioned, square baggie will work fine, but it must be strong, or bad things WILL happen.
**You can size up or down, just do so proportionally, and if all you have are square or rectangular pans, you can carve out circles of the right sizes - what happens to all those lovely cake scraps is your little secret.
***Box cake mixes, especially chocolate, are not bad, when you doctor them appropriately. I always add a Starbuck's Italian Roast Via to chocolate cake and brownie mixes. It really brings out the chocolate.
****I added a few tablespoons of cocoa and a packet of Via to some of the basic buttercream and used it to fill and crumb coat this part of the cake. Yummy!

When life gives you leftovers, make a casserole!

There are times in life when you have to make do with what you have. My extremely supportive and patient family has learned a lot about that in recent years, as I was trying to take care of my Dad and hold down a job and basically just keep body and soul together for all of us. 

Sometimes after a not-so-hard day, I just wasn't in the mood to cook (thank God for the 24-hour diner across the street). And sometimes, around dinner time but long before the end of an excruciating day, I decided right then was an excellent time to cook something new and involved. 

So eventually, I learned that more than any other dish, the casserole is the one where you really can just open the fridge, grab whatever odds and ends you have floating around in there, and add them to the ingredient list.* That said, there are certain staples I am not allowed to run out of, because in a pinch, you can use them to make a casserole out of darn near anything. 

Those things are:

• Shaped pasta and/or rice (We are trying to reduce carbs, so Dreamfields it is)
• Wine (duh!)
• Frozen boneless, skinless chicken breasts and/or thighs
• Frozen diced onions
• Frozen vegetables
• Cheese
• Some kind of shelf-stable goo ("cream of" soup, gravy mix, onion soup mix, etc.)**
• Various herbs and spices (I keep a tubes of garlic and basil in my fridge at all times)

Method

If you are lucky enough to have the ingredients already precooked (or scavenged, whatever), skip to this part.  If you're starting from just the ingredients in your always-on-hand-stash, here's the easiest way I've found to do everything with the least number of dirty dishes.:)

• In a large stock pot over medium-high heat, saute about 1/2 cup onions and a clove or two of garlic in olive oil for a few minutes (they don't have to be done done, and in fact, you can skip this step if you want). 
• Add a cup or so of wine, and roughly the same amount of water. Add some salt, but don't go nuts - you'll be adding cheese and goo later.
• Add 2 good-sized chicken breasts or 4 thighs to the pot (if frozen, don't worry about thawing it), cover, and bring to a boil. Cook for about 20 minutes.***
• Remove the chicken from the pot and shred when it is cool enough to touch. 
• Add enough water to the pot to cook pasta. Bring to a boil.
• At about the halfway point of the noodle cooking process (if package says 7 minutes, do this at 3), add a couple handfuls of frozen vegetables. Bring water back to a boil; when pasta is done, drain the whole pot.
• This is the easy part. Mix it all together! Be sure to include the goo, seasonings (basil works well with chicken!), and cheese.
  Important rule of thumb: mix the cold or room-temp stuff together first, then add the hot.
  If the mix looks dry, you can use some reserved cooking liquid or wine. 
• Pour into a casserole dish and cover with cheese. 
• Bake at 350 until the top is browned in spots. See?

*For instance, we went to a pumpkin patch thing last weekend and were able to pick out a "free" pumpkin on the way out. Well, right alongside those adorable little pumpkins were acorn squash! Hello, casserole!
**Goo is important, otherwise the casserole can be dry. If you don't have any (or don't believe in it on principle), you can always use wine or broth. I actually prefer a dry packet of gravy mix mixed with wine (instead of the water it calls for).
***I never time anything, I just check it periodically to see if it's done yet. Also, if your chicken has bones in it, it takes longer.

Cupcakeasaurus

I love a little girl who's just as willing to play dinosaurs as princesses. I am always kind of proud when my daughter puts her wee fists in the air and says "I'm a superhero!" while wearing plastic high heels and heart-shaped sunglasses (because that's a mask when you're 3).

I threw my share of feminist punches when I was young, but as I have gotten older I've come to realize how much I enjoy being able to be both a woman and sometimes kind of a badass. One does not diminish the other. So when it came time to say goodbye to a little friend who was moving away, I was faced with an interesting challenge - how to make an easy cake that would adequately reflect both her adventurous and girly sides? And the answer came to me through Pinterest (like many good answers do). A dinosaur cupcake cake. With pink toenails. And pearls. And eyelashes.:)

When I say easy, folks, I mean it. All right, not always, but this time, I swear. I made a box cake mix into 14 regular sized and 6 mini cupcakes, smooshed them together, and slapped some frosting on it. The instructions that follow are what I did, but really, you can just go with store-bought frosting and decorate it with Skittles and your kid, I swear, will love it every bit as much.

Materials

For cake:

• Box cake mix in favorite flavor. For children, you can never, ever go wrong with Funfetti.
• Eggs, oil and water for the mix
• 14 reular-sized cupcake liners
• 7 mini cupcake liners

For frosting:

• 4 cups powdered sugar* (the equivalent of 2 boxes or 1 plastic bag)
• 1 cup Crisco
• 1 cup butter, room temp**
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• Generous pinch of salt
• 1/4 to 1/2 cup whipping cream

For decorating:

• Green food coloring (I used Wilton Moss Green gel coloring)
• Pink food coloring (I used Wilton Rose Pink gel coloring, but a few drops of red food color would work)
• Sugar pearls (they totally have these at grocery stores now, but if you can't find them, just reserve about a 1/2 cup of plain frosting)
• Candy eyeballs or black frosting (I just buy the tubes at the grocery store on sale; I'm pretty sure they'll keep in the fridge until the end of time)
• Some sort of edible triangular-shaped candy. I found gummy sheets at the store; fruit roll-ups would work fine
• Ziploc or piping bags. If you use a Ziploc bag, make sure it's not pleated; freezer bags are strongest; cheap bags will burst when piping.
• Parchment paper or Viva paper towels (yes, brand matters here) 
• Fondant paddle*** 
• Offset spatula***

Method

• For the cupcakes: Mix and bake the cupcakes according to the directions on the box, using at least the number of cupcake liners specified (you may have extra).
• For the frosting: Cream butter and Crisco. Incorporate the sugar a little at a time (will be very stiff when you're done). Add 1/4 whipping cream slowly (or you'll be wearing it) and turn the speed up to medium-high for about a minute. Test the consistency; if it seems too stiff, add a little more cream and beat it again.
• Remove 1 cup frosting for accent colors, and dye the rest a satisfying shade of green.
• Dye a little over half the reserved frosting pink.
• Arrange your cupcakes like this:

(Totally ripped off from this site, which has a great tutorial)

• Fill a Ziploc or piping bag with green frosting. I find it easiest to put the bag in a big plastic cup, then fill it up. You'll need to snip about 1/2 inch off one of the corners of the ziploc bag; piping bags already have a hole.
• Cover the tops of the cupcakes and with frosting, putting extra in any cracks between cupcakes. Cover the whole collective surface with frosting.
• Spread frosting evenly over the entire shape using an offset spatula, back of a spoon, or butter knife. It will not be smooth yet, so don't panic.
• Walk away for 15 minutes to let the buttercream "crust." If it doesn't stick to your finger when you touch it lightly, it's ready.
• Lay a piece of parchment paper or a Viva paper towel on top of the frosting. Using a fondant paddle or your hand, carefully smooth the surface of the frosting by rubbing lightly over the paper towel or parchment, using a circular motion. Lift up the paper frequently to keep it from getting sticky.
• Once the frosting is smooth, you can add details with frosting and candy, like flowers, eyes, outlines, scales, etc.

This is what my dino looked like:

Conclusion

 All told, this cake took about an hour of hands-on time, which is light speed for cakes (for me, anyway). I encourage you to check out this tutorial, which is what I did, as well as the web site. If you like to bake cakes, and especially if you want to start doing "fancy" cakes, you should totally follow them on Pinterest. And if you aren't yet hooked on Pinterest, please do ask me how!

*Theoretically, sugar really shouldn't go "bad." Powdered sugar, though, does tend to take on funky smells as its very own, which translates into weird tasting frosting. So, don't stockpile the sugar, or if you do, put it in a couple of layers of foil or bags or something to keep it from tasting strangely like cumin.

**If you don't have the time or foresight to bring your butter to room temp, try 30 seconds in the microwave at 50% power. Unless your microwave is crazy awesome, in which case, 15 seconds might do it.

***These tools aren't necessary if all you have time to do is hit the market on the way home for a boxed cake mix and a tub of frosting, but if you're going to do this kind of thing often, they are inexpensive and totally worth the trip to Michael's. (Unless you're my husband, who hates the place. He might go in there if our daughter's life were at stake, but otherwise, I'd be on my own.)