All you need is love. And candy. And a trip to the craft store. But that's it.

To raise money for our annual church retreat, the choir (my peeps!) and I banded together for a "crafternoon" full of sweet sweet goodness. We made candy bouquets to sell, which involved mass-producing 7 different kinds of Valentine-themed candies on sticks, then putting them in vases filled with, you guessed it, more candy.

Just one of these projects would probably make enough for a child's classroom, or a nurse's station, or your back-of-the-closet secret after a hard day. I'm listing them here by the fewest number of ingredients.  If you're not diabetic by the time you're done, you have noone to blame but yourself!

1. Tootsie pop flowers
2. Chocolate-dipped pretzel rods
3. Chocolate kiss roses
4. Upcycled candy cane hearts
5. Oreo pops
6. Chocolate-covered Peep hearts
7. Rice Krispie Heart pops
8. Master list of materials and ingredients for overachievers

1. Tootsie pop flowers

Can't take the credit for this photo, but you can see the ones I did in the photo at the bottom of the page.

Required:

1. Bag of Tootsie Roll pops
2. 2 sheets of cardstock, scrapbooking paper, or foam
3. Small hole punch

Optional:

• Heart shape paper punch (It won't work with the foam, but if you use paper it makes the process so.much.faster.)
• Green paper (for leaves)
• Scotch tape

This one is also very easy. I used the instructions from here. If you have trouble getting the petals to stay up once they're on the stick, wrap some scotch tape around the stick.

2. Chocolate-dipped pretzel rods

Required:

1. Chocolate to melt (I'd say about 2 12-ounce bags of chocolate chips)
2. 1 bag of pretzel rods
3. Tall glass (microwave-safe)
4. Tall cellophane bags and twist ties (Or Ziploc bags with the zips cut off and pipe cleaners cut into short pieces)
5. Parchment or wax paper

Optional:

• Contrasting color of chocolate
• Sprinkles* 

This one is so easy!!

• Pour 1 bag of chocolate chips into your glass (or fill with chopped chocolate). You can go all the way to the top - it will take up less space as the chocolate melts. Zap in the microwave for 30 seconds, then stir (I used a wooden skewer). Repeat. You should be able to stir it at this point, and you want to, as many of the chips will melt as you stir. If even after your best stirring efforts there are lumps, zap it again for 15 seconds and stir again.*
• Open the bag of pretzel rods and spread your parchment or wax paper on a flat surface. 
• Dip the pretzel rods into the chocolate, turning to coat well and shaking off the excess before laying the pretzel on the paper to dry. As the level of chocolate goes down, you may need to tip the glass to coat the pretzel as far up as you can.
• You'll probably have to refill the chocolate halfway through the bag. Use the same method as before.

When all the pretzels are dipped, you can just just walk away. But where's the challenge in that???

• Melt the contrasting color of chocolate (My favorite method for this particular use is to nuke a couple of handfuls of chips in a mostly-closed Ziploc bag for 30 seconds, then massage the bag until it's smooth, snip off a corner, and go!) and drizzle over the coated pretzels. While the chocolate is still wet, shake sprinkles over the pretzels.
• Let the chocolate dry for a couple of hours. If you touch it lightly and it leaves a fingerprint, let it dry some more.
• Bag 'em and go!

3. Chocolate Kiss Roses

Required:

1. Bag of Hershey Kisses
2. Pink or red tissue paper (the kind you use to stuff gift bags and boxes)
3. Floral wire (18 gauge worked great, but I also used pipe cleaners and heard a rumor that wooden skewers work)
4. Floral tape
5. Glue dots

Optional:

• Wired leaves 

Method

I listened to the Internet on this one, but their advice produced slightly warped rosebuds and sore fingers. Plus, they took forever. My method produced a couple dozen flowers in the time it took to watch Downton Abbey.

• Cut the flower wire to make between  9-12 inch pieces.
• Cut the tissue paper into 6-inch squares.
• Stick a glue dot on the bottom of a kiss and stick the bottom of another kiss to it. 

• Put a glue dot on the side of one of the kisses, near the pointy end.
• Hold the end of one of the wires against the glue dot on the side.

• Center two pieces of tissue paper over the top pointy end of the candy. Pull the sides of the tissue out straight and crease.

• Wrap tissue clockwise around candy, holding the paper pretty firmly. Keep twisting all the way to the base of the candies. Secure with a bit of tape if needed.

• Holding one end of the floral tape against the bottom third of the candy portion, start pulling the tape gently and wrapping it around to form a stem. (Pulling the tape activates a mild wax that will make the tape stick to itself.)

• Once you get past the bulky portion at the end of the tissue paper, add two leaves and continue wrapping down the wire to the end. Just rip off the tape and smooth it down to finish.

To be fair, I stole some of the instructions from here.

4. Upcycled Candy Cane Hearts**

Not my picture, I can't take credit, but I thought y'all would like to know what they look like!

Required:

1. Chocolate for melting (the amount depends entirely on how many candy canes you have, but don't try it with less than 8 oz.)
2. As many leftover candy canes as you scrounge together. The link I'll post below uses the mini ones, but all I could find at the 90% off after-Christmas sale were the big ones, and they worked fine.
3. Microwave safe bowl
4. 6 inch lollipop sticks (You could use wooden skewers, just beware of the sharp tips)
5. Cellophane bags and twist ties (Or Ziploc bags with the zips cut off and pipe cleaners cut into short pieces)
6. Parchment or wax paper

Optional:

• Heat-proof gloves (otherwise your fingertips get a little toasty)
• Sprinkles* or conversation hearts (can stick to the chocolate while it's wet)
• Contrasting color of chocolate

I used these instructions. The only thing I did differently was to use the big candy canes, which should be baked and extra minute or two to make them pliable.

5. Oreo Pops

Required:

1. Candy coating (or chocolate chips)
2. 1 package of Oreos
3. Microwave-safe bowl (a coffee mug works great for this)
4. 6 inch lollipop sticks (or Popsicle sticks or wooden skewers, just beware of the sharp tips)
5. Cellophane bags and twist ties (Or Ziploc bags with the zips cut off and pipe cleaners cut into short pieces)
6. Parchment or wax paper

Optional:

• Sprinkles* or conversation hearts (can stick to the chocolate while it's wet)
• Contrasting color of chocolate

The instructions are here. I have good news and bad news here. You have to dig the trenches, or it just won't work. Yes, even if you buy Double Stuffed. The good news is that if you break it, you bite it.

6. Chocolate-covered Peep Hearts

Required:

1. Candy coating (this recipe says 8 oz; you can also use chocolate chips)
2. 2 tblsp vegetable shortening
3. 1 package of Peep hearts (8 hearts)
4. Tall glass (microwave-safe)
5. 6 inch lollipop sticks (I have used Popsicle sticks or plastic forks before. You could also use wooden skewers, just beware of the sharp tips)
6. Cellophane bags and twist ties (Or Ziploc bags with the zips cut off and pipe cleaners cut into short pieces)
7. Parchment or wax paper

Optional:

• Sprinkles* or conversation hearts (can stick to the chocolate while it's wet)

These instructions work great!

7. Rice Krispie Heart Pops

Required:

1. Candy coating (or chocolate chips)
2. Box of Rice Krispies cereal
3. Bag of marshmallows
4. 1/4 cup butter
5. Large microwave-safe bowl 
6. Heart-shaped cookie cutters (any shape works, or instead of cutting out the treats, pour them directly into the wells of a well-greased muffin tin)
7. Smaller bowl for melting chocolate
8. 6 inch lollipop sticks (or Popsicle sticks or wooden skewers, just beware of the sharp tips)
9. Cellophane bags and twist ties (Or Ziploc bags with the zips cut off and pipe cleaners cut into short pieces)
10. Parchment or wax paper
11. Cooking spray

Optional:

• Sprinkles* (can stick to the chocolate while it's wet)
• Contrasting color of chocolate

Method

• Line a cookie sheet with parchment or wax paper.
• Melt butter in the large bowl in the microwave (30 seconds should do it). Dump in the bag of marshmallows and stir to coat.Microwave for 45 seconds.
• SPRAY A SPATULA WITH COOKING SPRAY. It's important. Don't question it.
• Stir the gooey mess, then nuke for another 30-45 seconds. Stir again until it's a uniform melted goo consistency. Add Rice Krispies right away and stir.
• SPRAY THE SPATULA AGAIN WITH COOKING SPRAY.
• Pour the contents of the bowl onto the lined cookie sheet and use the spatula to flatten it out until it's roughly an inch thick. Let it cool for about half an hour, it'll be easier to cut.
• SPRAY THE COOKIE CUTTER WITH COOKING SPRAY.
• Cut out the hearts and lay them on parchment or wax paper.
• Melt a few spoonfuls of chocolate in a bowl. Dip the end of each lollipop stick into the melted chocolate before sticking it into the point of the heart-shaped treats.
• Once all of the treats have sticks, melt more chocolate(s) and drizzle over the hearts. Add sprinkles while the chocolate is still wet. Let the chocolate dry completely before bagging. 

Master list of ingredients for overachievers

You don't have to do all of these. But if, for some reason, you WANT to (masochist, much?), here's a shopping list of everything you need to buy, organized by where you can most likely find it.

Grocery store (and/or Target)

Rice Krispies cereal
Oreos
"Regular" chocolate and white chocolate chips and/or candy coating
Marshmallows
Shortening
Cooking spray
Ziploc bags
Parchment or wax paper
Tootsie Roll lollipops
Pretzel rods
Hershey Kisses
Clearance candy canes
Peep hearts
Conversation hearts
Butter
Wine (don't question it)

Craft store

Tissue paper
Card stock or scrapbooking paper in flower- and leaf- appropriate colors
Glue dots
Small hole punch
Heart-shaped punch
Sprinkles
Cellophane bags
Twist ties
Fancy colored candy melts
Lollipop sticks
Cookie cutter
Floral tape
Floral wire

* Target has some awesome V-Day sprinkles on the dollar aisle - don't pretend you don't know where it is.
** Does that word sound smug to anyone else?

Everything's A-OK

We took the Little Bit to Sesame Place last weekend. She's been fighting a cold for a week or so, but we'd had the tickets for months (due to a personal appearance by "Kindi Rock" superstar Laurie Berkner), so we were going, snot be damned. Plus, it was the first unGodly hot weekend of the year, where else would we be but a theme park full of pre-schoolers?
The trip there was miserable. Normally a little under 3 hours, it took us 5. I now hate the following cities, ranked in order of worst driving experience last Friday to best.

1. Philly. Eva started puking around Hour 9000 and we couldn't get off the highway for 3 miles.  HATE.
2. New Jersey. Toll Plazas. That is all.
3. Baltimore. Because apparently they drive tanks up and down the pavements all night long when noone is looking. Pot holes the depth of the axles. Luckily, we were only going 3 MPH so it didn't do anything permanent. I hope.
4. DC. Yes, you read that right. The new 695 interchange is much better than turning right at a traffic light on Pennsylvania Avenue and trying not to hit the curbside flower vendors. Plus, traffic was heavy but at least it was flowing. At 12:30 in the afternoon.

All this said, we had a great time once we got there. My child is not threatened by any ride, any height, any spray of water, or any adult-sized costumed character.
So, how does all this rambling tie in to something Mommy made? Well, I finally got to see a scale model of the brownstone where Maria, Big Bird (he roosts on the roof), Bert and Ernie (in the basement), and Oscar the Grouch (in the trash can outside) live.
This would have been helpful to me when I re-created it in cake form for a birthday party in February.

I'll spare you most of the details, so if you really want to know, email me and I'll bore you with minutia. Some more.

Materials:

• 2 12-inch cake layers
• 4 8-inch cake layers
• About 5 pounds of this frosting
• Cake plate (mine was a nice pedestal that promptly broke)
• 10 lbs of chocolate fondant*
• 2-3 pounds gum paste and/or white fondant
• Paint brush
• rolling pin
• sharp knife
• confectioner's sugar
• Crisco
• blue food coloring
• green food coloring
• food coloring pens
• fondant cutters of your choice - I used this but it's more trouble than it's worth
• 15-20 hours of your life

Method (deep breath. I promise I'll only hit the high points)

1. Using the chocolate fondant and the gum paste, I rolled it out and cut it into shapes to use for the trim on the house (windowsills, doors, windows, etc.)*
2. Stack, fill, and crumb coat the square layers.
   Like this (please ignore the yogurt and turkey)!
   
3. Stack, fill, and crumb coat the round layers, then dye some of the icing blue and do a smooth coat.
   Like this!
   
   
4. Cover the "cube" cake with chocolate fondant. If you can. 
5. Smack the House cake on the round cake. This part is not fun and can go terribly wrong.
6. Use water and a paint brush to attach all the doo-dads to the house and the sign to the round cake.
7. Use leftover icing for details on the cake.
8. Get someone to help you carry the thing, because it is seriously heavy.

*If there's a word stronger than "hate" here, that's how I feel about Wilton's chocolate fondant. I hate fondant, anyway, but this stuff is the weirdest, stickiest, driest, cracki-est, meanest lump of sugar dough I have ever worked with. Seriously, I had a humidifier cranking next to it and it still cracked. Next time I'll just take my chances with chocolate buttercream. Wait, I am never doing this again. Nevermind.