The Good Shepherd('s Pie)

For me, winter (post-holiday) is an easier time to go low-carb, thanks in large part to the fact that you don't have as much of what I like to call "salad guilt." When it's 95 degrees out, it just seems like the universe judges you for not going to Chop't or some other gimmicky salad joint every day and getting something made from locally-sourced dandelions and wunderberries and Mystic Tan. You can't order pot roast in July. It's barbaric. Or at least the ads on the Metro make you think so. And yes, I get that salads are, by nature, low-carb. But they're salad.

It's not that I am anti-salad. I am just not excited about them. It's like how my three-year-old feels about anything other than frosting. It'll do if you're 5 minutes from starvation but otherwise, why bother?

Winter is the time for pot roast. And pub food. And cheese. So in celebration, I devised a low-carb version of Shepherd's pie that turned out pretty good, only involved two pots and a casserole dish, and can be ready to pop in the oven in less time than it takes to make a frozen pizza. Yes, I know that for a fact. Don't judge me.

Materials

As with most things I make, you can substitute a lot in here. This is just how I did it because I happened to have most of the ingredients languishing in the freezer or fridge. You can swap out the ground meats and the veggies (except the cauliflower, unless, of course, you do mashed potatoes) for whatever you have lying around or whatever your kids will eat.

• 2 bags of frozen cauliflower florets (because I hate chopping)
• Stick of butter or margarine (I guess you could sub sour cream or plain yogurt. Killjoy.)
• 1 tblsp olive oil
• 1lb ground bison
• 1lb ground turkey breast
• 1 bag frozen chopped onions
• 3 tblsp. Worcestershire sauce
• 1 small bay leaf
• 1.5 cups beef broth (or 1 can)
• 1 teaspoon steak seasoning
• 1/2 cup red wine (or beer)
• 1 1/2 cups baby carrots
• 1 1/2 cups frozen peas
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (optional)

Method

• Preheat oven to 375.
• Dump the cauliflower and 1/4 cup frozen chopped onions in a large pot or microwave steamer with an inch or so of water.  Steam until fork tender.
• While the cauliflower steams, in a separate pot, add the olive oil, the rest of the chopped onions, and the ground meats. Cook on medium-high heat until the meat is mostly browned, and then add the broth, Worcestershire, bay leaf, steak seasoning, and wine. Bring to a boil, then add salt or pepper to taste. Add carrots to the top of the meat mixture and simmer until they are tender.

• While the meat mixture simmers, dump the frozen peas in a strainer and rinse with cold water until they are thawed.
• Drain the cauliflower and add butter. Using an immersion blender (or a potato masher, but seriously, you need an immersion blender), blend until smooth. Add salt and pepper to taste.

• Turn off the meat mixture and stir in the peas. Pour into casserole dish, then spread the mashed cauliflower on top.Top with cheese and bake for about 30 minutes, or until cheese is melted and/or the mashed cauliflower is lightly browned in spots.

Whine into Water

So, I swear not all of these posts are going to have to do with gardening, because my current garden is on my 5x10 balcony. There just isn't that much I can do out there. That did not, however, stop me from producing this (the strawberry, the penny is just for scale. In my defense, the first strawberry to come off the balcony was, like 1/4 this size):

Or rather, to be more accurate, stop me from purchasing the plant that produced it. Which I almost killed because I have a strict policy of Benign Neglect when it comes to my plants. Which doesn't work so well since I forget to water them for days on end.

Problem: Plants dying because they would probably get more water in Arizona than they do on my balcony
Solution: Water Globes! You know those pretty round glass things that you buy and stick in potted plants that slowly leak water into your soil as it dries out?
2nd problem: Paying money for them seems like a waste. I mean surely, I can find something that will work just as well lying around my house, right?
My solution: Booze.No, really!

Materials:

Empty wine and cider bottles. If you don't partake, any glass bottle will most likely work, or you can just sneak into your neighbor's recycle bins.

Method:

1. Water your plants first. Otherwise they'll just gulp the water out of your bottles and you'll need to refill, like, immediately.
2. Rinse bottles
3. Fill them with water
4. Go outside, quickly invert bottle and shove into soil of plant. I find that if you act like you're screwing in a lightbulb, it works a little easier.
5. Neglect away!

Caution:

If the water in your bottle is all gone in about 2 hours, either you didn't water the plants well enough to begin with, or the bottle wasn't shoved in far enough. Once you've gotten the bottle to a good depth, it should be easy to refill and re-insert in the same spot in the plant.

The wine bottles last a few days in a large plant. I use the cider bottles for flowers and smaller pots, they last a day or two. There is some debate on the Internet that you should somehow cap the bottles and make small holes in the cap, such that it's more of a drip-irrigation thing. I found that just leaving the tops off and making sure the bottles are firmly inserted works just fine, and is easier to refill. I don't actually enjoy getting dirty, so this is an important feature.